A perfect circle

It's like a merry go round that I can't get off of. I continue to chase the love in front of me but never catch up. I get distracted by the things around me but like that house I'm riding I gallop forward never to gain or move. The only motion I do make is up and down. I get the infatuation and the heartbreak but never the sustaining love that all of us desperately chase after. Again I find myself in the cycle where I allow myself to feel, hope, and fall in only to be disappointed and broken in the end. I'm very tired of that crushing feeling on my chest and the spinning of my wheels. I'm stuck in the quicksand of heartbreak and the more I struggle the more it pulls. 

Many of you read this hoping for something happy and cheerful. Sorry to disappoint tonight. The last two people really did a number on me. 

The silver lining is that I know it will get better and with each day I will get up and not give up hope that one day my horse will break free and I will get to the prize I've been waiting for. I will get to my goals whatever they are bc I am stronger than any emotion I have or any curve ball life throws at me. I will have the courage to brush off the dirt and hurt and try again. 

So tomorrow I will try again for one step forward and allow myself to feel and process. The outcome is unknown but that is half the fun is getting the surprise and taking the journey.