New Goals and Missions

Hey everybody!  I have new goals and new things that I want to accomplish.  I want to write positivity into the universe and try to downplay the negative.  For a long time I was struggling with depression and using this as an outlet.  Now I am just going to try to write twice a week and see what comes out. 

Yesterday, a friend of mine brought me a jar of quotes that I gave her for her 30th bday.  She insisted that I take them because I needed them more than her.  She is right.  I have been diving into my subconscious and trying to find my faults, fears, and patterns and try to change them.  I have also been reading Brene Brown's book: The Gift of Imperfection.  My psychologist recommended it a year ago and I only ever got through the first 2 chapters.  Again, I am trying to get through the content because it is a heavy book.  Wonderful, but a lot to take on and actually try to look at yourself.  I do recommend it to anyone that is curious or struggles with feeling like they have to be perfect or everything for everyone.

The book is challenging all of my beliefs about how I have to be perfect all the time, how to be my true authentic self, and how to pick out people in my life that are worthy of trust, me opening up to them.  The last part might sound kind of harsh, but bear with me.  I have had a bad habit (pattern) where I open up to everyone and bluntly put my vulnerabilities on the line just to get crushed or heartbroken (by friends and lovers).  Its hard for me to have a surface (shallow) relationship with someone, and I need to learn how to make a distinction between a true friend and someone that is fun to spend time with but not necessarily someone that can handle my truth/vulnerabilities. 

This is a very hard and intimate journey that I am going to travel, but on the other side I will be a stronger and braver person.  Might be a few friends shorter, but I will find the ones that are quality and not just the quantity that I have always had.

So the journey:
-Go through the book step by step and report my progress on here.
-Grab a quote from the jar daily and spend a little time talking about it.