So i've been struggling lately. My relationship status is back to single and its one of the hardest things that I have to do right now. Not me being single but watching my sweet boy face the world without a support system. He says he has to do it on his own, and that kills me. He is probably reading this and pissed that I said anything.....(sorry). I am a huge believer in having a support system around you and leaning on people for support. I am just worried and that is what makes everything worse because I could deal with being single if I knew that he had a support system and people to lean on. I could deal with letting him go as a boyfriend if he could accept my friendship. I have been praying and I know that i'm supposed to be in his life in some form or fashion. I'm not patient at all when things like this happen, the unknown scares the shit out of me. I just want to be able to help. The following video is called Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper. Its an amazing song and seems to fit.
Well anyways, on top of that I am going to start counseling (me being counseled) because I need to get some of my insecurities and eating issues under control. I just want to be the best person I can be and hopefully figure out my issues. I'm gonna go now and get ready for work, but I thought that I would talk for a minute....
On a happier note: My 1 year bootcamp anniversary is coming up. I need to figure out what I am going to do to celebrate. What do you guys think? Also that will be the 1 year anniversary of my job and my conscious decision to stop smoking even though my last puff of a cigarette didn't happen until July. I didn't buy anymore after Feb 6th and couldn't smoke a whole cigarette after that either. Josh asked me today if I miss it, and I really don't. I still love the smell sometimes but I don't miss not being able to breathe in the morning. The only time I contemplate having one is when I am drunk, but now no one that I hang out with often smokes. So its so much easier when you aren't constantly around it. Well okay, i'm gonna really go now!
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