Dating again maybe

I dont know why but I decided to go on plenty of fish.com today to reactivate my profile. Im obviously a glutton for punishment bc all the guys I didnt want to talk to messaged me. Or if they seemed cool they had one major draw back like telling me im not cultured enough bc I  dont know 3 languages or cant come out during the week. Are you fucking kidding me? My profile specifically says like me for me...... I also get a sad face when all those beautiful men dont message me. They have some horrendous flaw anyways (probably). There are a lot of ghetto ignorant people close to me

WHERE ARE ALL THE BEAUTIFULLY CULTURED AND WELL EDUCATED MEN IN THE WORLD THAT DONT WANT YOU TO CHANGE FOR THEM?? Riddle me that.... Or maybe I need some culture myself. Maybe im miss from the bubble girl who only knows what she knows and dreams of a day when she will be able to travel the world..... Better start buying lottery tickets or that will never happen.

I also have to stop reading romance novels and watching romantic comedies, that shit doesnt happen in real life.

I also need friends to set me up on blind dates :) any takers? How about 6 months from now when im healthier or a year from now when I make my goal? Or is it the personality that offends?

Someone asked me (not worded this was but the meaning was clear) where did I get off being picky? You know thats a good question and I answer it by saying that single life treats me well and I dont need a relationship to live but yes one day a relationship and all its perks would be great. Maybe im too independent in some respects or too dependent on my parents and dont need the companionship.

There are a million factors that contribute to why I stay single and I think its gonna take God smacking me across the face to really make me pay anyone attention.

In reality my heart is probably in a stage of healing still from my tortuous and unhealthy love life. I mean after I broke up with love of my life I floundered and havent been in a healthy one since. Who am I kidding? My first relationship was full of immaturity, lack of communication and unsolved childhood issues. We were convinient bc of the job, school, and friends. Eventually he said he never loved me buut continued to play those heart strings for years.

So what is the point of this blog today you ask? Well im asking myself whether dating/putting forth the effort is worth it. My friends think I should just get a fuck buddy but im not so sure that clouding the issue with sex is the answer. Will that help me be more objective or make me fall in love with my romantic partner? I think focusing on me/only me is the answer at least for now....but ask me next week and it could be totally different!