Positive Outlook

I usually think that I'm a very positive person, until I look at myself and I become very negative. I mean today I woke up and looked at my stomach and my first thought was "fat" not "hey i'm kicking ass waking up every early". How messed up is my thinking. I went to boot camp this morning and realized that my work out pants are looser than last week. Also my jeans are fitting better. My best friend told me that I needed to stop calling myself "fat" and my other best friend said that everytime I said it she would be kicking me in the shin to realize that it is not right to do. I'm slowly learning that I'm my harshest critic and no one else sees me as "fat", "lazy", "annoying", etc. They see me as: funny, outgoing, friendly, crazy, etc. Are people just being nice or do I have a skewed view?

I'm really positive about other people. I'm always encouraging people to do things that are good for them. People comment about how hard things in life are and how hard my former job was, but I just think that I can appreciate how wonderful my life is. I don't have to struggle through life because I have people that will help me.

This morning was hard because I woke up late and was freezing my butt off even before I stepped outside. I don't like the cold and it was hard to get up. I also think that I'm holding others back in the work out. Some of the veteran boot campers have told me that I am doing well and trying. They also say that they aren't being held back by me and everyone has been there at one time or another. I have to learn how to think that way. I'm actually out of bed and I need to congratulate myself every morning when I get up at an ungodly hour to work out which most people don't do.

I think yesterday the bootcamp email came out saying that you need to use positive statements and I tried that this morning (I did say try) and I found myself giving myself goals like i would be able to hop the length of the course instead of just high knees and would be able to do full crunches and real planks (instead of motified). I also have to tell myself that it will be a journey until I can keep up with everyone and I will get there!! I'm trying and that is all that I can ask of myself. If it was easy to get in shape everyone would be and I would have done it a long time ago!!

Positive for today: I ran up the hill and over to the other hill where we backwards run. I didn't even think about it thanks to Dori for distracting me by talking about her son!!! All of a sudden I realized that I jogged the farthest I had!!!

Another positive: I'm liking grilled chicken more and can tell when something is really fatty (I actually pulled bacon out of a wrap today because it was just too much). I think I'm gonna make it this time and make all the habits the right ones so I don't have to ever get to this point again!